Quickwords Vol. 5 – Cosmic

Welcome to Volume 5 of Quickwords, my personal poetry series. Here’s a void:

A pitch black image.

| Cosmic |

It is cosmic
The weight of what we are up against
The cold, unforgiving darkness of the void
That cares not for who we are
What we are
It is ignorant without bliss against the plights of our passion
It is impossible to fill it with our reservoirs of love
Which seem infinite, yet are to it like a drop of water
in the endless dunes of a long lost desert

Yet, we try.

It will always pain me to understand that the pain will forever mean more
than the joy
Yet I find the pain cathartic
A jolting touch against the embrace of nothing
It hollows my stomach and leaves me begging
for the nourishment of happiness
Either way, it is humbling to have even been given a stomach at all
The void hungers, but in a different way

How many days have I looked at the world both inside of me and out
and dragged the chain of my mind’s gift
Directly to its farthest length
the Why of why we are?

Is it to suffer?
Is it to laugh?
Is it to rage?
Is it to fear?
Is it to rest?
Is it to experience?
We are all addicts to
the drug of life, a stimulant against a dormant, nonexistent consciousness
How many days have I looked at the world both inside of me and out
and pondered getting sober?

No, I will indulge in my addiction
I will be the world’s junkie passed out in heaps of trash in a grimy, murky, damp alleyway
I will feel the pricks on my skin and the pulse of my blood and the tremor
of my figure
My stomach I will keep, even if I must starve
But dare not make a gamble that I will not grow fat
I will love my dearest one and share with her my soul
and I will fight the call of the void
the whispers that give you pain and
a deceptive method to make it disappear
Sobriety, no
Oh, I will never be sober
Never again
Though there may be gaps in my doses
I will do my best to shorten them
Though I may hear the whispers
I will do my best to silence them
Though there will be pain
I will not relinquish
My addiction, my
Blessed addiction
I will not relinquish it to the void, to the nothingness

It is cosmic
The weight of what we are up against
And so I scream into the void
My voice trembles, cords quaking, tearing, with my ferocity
And so I burn my body
My skin withers, flesh smoldering, invisible, beneath the light of my flame
And so I dance upon this mountain
My bones shatter, muscles failing, smashing, against the earth
And so I move this earth
And so I shine a light
And so I make a sound
All in the cosmic, everlasting nothing
of the void.

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